Outta Control!

On my way home from work today, I thought, I should really blog.  I should really blog about how out of control my life feels sometimes.  I should blog about how I'm not making the time and putting forth the effort to control what is important to me and do all of the things that I need to do for my health and well being.  I keep feeling like I'm just on this crazy ride that I don't want to be on and can't get off.  So, fast forward 3 hours later, I decided to go to church (1 of 3 options I had going on in that time frame), and they were starting a new series.  I hadn't been to Wednesday service in a couple of weeks, so I was pretty excited to be back.  The new series we started was....

"My faith is great, but my life is out of control."

Since it was the start of the series, there was just kind of a general overview of things to think about, and about people who loved God and "did the right things" but still struggled with problems (lust, substances, pride, etc), and most importantly, ended with the question, "what things in my life do I struggle with?"

Wow.

This question is just the one I needed, and there are LOTS of answers to this question, both relating to faith/trust in God, and areas that may not seem like they're directly related to faith.

SO, what do I struggle controlling? (in no particular order):

* prioritizing
* my temper
* not doing things that are necessary for my health
* not getting off my phone
* not speaking my mind, standing up for myself, or believing that I deserve better than I sometimes settle for
* not going after what I want
* not planning ahead/procrastinating
* letting myself get caught up in negativity
* wasting time
* spending money
* budgeting/getting out of debt/working harder
* drinking too much coffee
* doing other things that are bad for me (when I know better- like eating sugar)
* letting myself get pushed around or being influenced by people i care about even if i don't agree with them
* spreading myself so thin that nothing seems fun- everything feels like a chore or like something i "have to" do
* not asking for or accepting help
* staying at a job i dislike, don't find rewarding or challenging, am not appreciated at, and isn't worth my time or (lack of) money
* not finishing school (1 semester left- really, come on, Alex)
* knowing that i find certain things important but not making the time to do them
* getting caught up in little things that are annoying and let them ruin my day/drag me way down
* not making enough time for God, then wondering why I feel alone
* not trusting God and doctors enough to just GO and figure out what is going on with me and how to get better

see?!?!  That's SO MUCH that is WAY out of hand!  So, to tackle just a few of those things, I pledge to:

* limit the time I spend on my phone (check email, facebook, and the games I like to play 1-2 times a day)
* cut down to 1 (large) cup of coffee everyday (eventually to cut down to 1-2 cups a week)
* start budgeting money and not buying non necessities
* ask my boss for a raise, AND start (REALLY) looking for a new job
* doing at least 1 thing i WANT to do each day

I really really really need to stick to these AND continue to tackle more in the future, so WISH ME LUCK, SAY A PRAYER, give me a hug, ANY encouragement is SUPER appreciated so that i can get myself IN control!