Bummed

Sometimes, lately, things just seem so hard.  It's not that I can't get out of bed in the morning, or that I'm so tired or stressed that every little thing is a struggle.  Not that that's never the case, but lately, that is not what's going on.  It's not the physical things that are bringing me down, although I HAVE been feeling pretty unwell physically (nauseous, achy, having lots of trouble regulating my body temperature- I'm either way too hot or way too cold, having heart palpitations, running some type of sinus, salivary gland, ear, throat infection nastiness, et cetera), but the mental and emotional.  Everything seems like such a chore.  I think, I should _____________, then, no, it'd be too much work to ___________ (something that really IS NOT hard or a lot to do- like drive 5 minutes to Target to get 1 thing).  I seriously don't know what the hell is the matter with me.  I used to THRIVE on go, go, go, do, do, do.  I LOVED to be out and about, run all over town, go new places, drive all over, go shopping- or just looking, be with other people.  Now, it ALL just seems like too much work.  Plus, even if I do go out, it is not fun.  At all.  Ryan and I went to the mall the other day, and it was so not fun.  Which sucks.  Because I WANTED it to be.  I was excited about it at first.  We had a meeting with our insurance agent, and after, we decided to go to the mall (even though Ryan wasn't feeling well), because I wanted to.  But as we were walking around, it just hit me that I didn't care.  We were "Christmas shopping," and just THINKING about who to shop for or what to get them was overwhelming.  I just didn't want to do it.  We wandered around and got nothing.  As we were driving back toward home, I got so down just realizing how low I've sunk; how things that seemed fun or made me happy and energized before just weren't fun at all.  By the time we got back to our neck of the woods, I just wanted to lay down and do nothing.  I was so depressed by this.  Thinking and thinking about how often this has been happening made me even more hopeless.  I just don't know what the heck is wrong with me!  Life is just not very fun anymore much of the time.  I wish I knew how to turn this around.